Not Again!

Sometimes,
I wonder why I'm late
By a little or a lot
or one verses the other
Why routine
takes longer one day
than ever before

I know, that at times
poor planning and procrastination
bring about my tardiness
But why
Why am I late
Some days and not others

What would happen
on those tardi days
if I were on time, not late
Would I simply be on time,
nothing more..?
Or is there more

Those days when I am late
could it be, by devine plan
stopping something bad
by a mear few minutes
could I be avoiding tragedy?
A car wreck perhaps..

Or, could it be, by being late
I'm avoiding a chance meeting
that could change my life
for better or worse
out of sync
with God's devine plan

If so, Why?
Am I destined for more?
Do I have a purpose
I haven't yet fulfilled?
Will I make a mark in time?
or in someone's life?

I like that answer
that it's all part of a plan
A plan that isn't mine or yours
It means I'm late with purpose.
Everything happens for a reason
Rather we understand or not.



(Written 28 August 2011)

Rifle

Sleek, textured wood
Warm and Smooth
Long and Hard
to the touch
after erupting
with mighty power
exhilarating experience
when properly handled
removes from its sight
incapable hands

Humans. Decended from a Snake

We sleep in dark holes
some are longer/taller than others
poisonous in character
protective of our own
some are large, some are small
bright, colorful, and attractive
dangerous or mellow
relaxed or uptight
sneaky, tricky, and witty
we don't like cold weather
or sleeping outside
we lay out in the sun
and snap at others with ill temper
some are more social
and vocal than are others

Haunted Memories

I hide my eyes from others
wiping the tears away
pull my emotions into check
go on with my day
lapse of emotional control
going unnoticed
 
Wipe my sunglasses clean
showing no mist or spots
my day goes on as it should
as I struggle to maintain
astoic expression
while I still hurt inside
 
Long drives in my car
yield too much time for thought
The radio reminds me
of the good times and the bad
what should have been
and what actually was
 
Memories haunt me
in my waking hours
and while I sleep
Mostly when I’m alone
but sometimes
in a crowd of familiars
 
Though I may on occasion
Remember the past
and lose emotional control
I’ll maintain my expression
hide the hurt inside
apparently move on until I actually do


(Written 2 August 2011)

Somebody Special

Its sort of bittersweet to see
family and friends in happy relationships
They have someone to love
Someone to love them
and someone to share
their lives, stories, and experiences with

Most of the time
it's okay to be alone
until around those who aren't
That understanding
and acceptance is
a luxury unknown to me

At these times
I yearn to have my own
someone to share with
to tell me thoughts and secrets
but when opportunity knocks
I turn away

I'm afraid to trust
defensive, reserved, and guarded
How can I find someone
when the past has taught
to trust no other

So I suppose for now
I'll learn to be myself again
and in so doing, trust myself
maybe someday, in due process
of living my life for me
I'll find my special somebody

(written 1 August 2011)